You are going to read this post and laugh. You will mock me. You will write it off as the ramblings of a crazy old man frustrated by events of recent days.
You may be right.
But here's a promise: This post will CONSUME you this weekend, all the way through Monday night. You'll laugh it off and, in a couple of hours, it will pop back into your brain. It will linger, leave and then come back. To stay. You won't be able to shake it.
You will come to the inevitable conclusion that I'm right. Stan, Mike, Jim - they read everything written on the Nats. They will follow the pattern, too.
This is crazy, nutso, stupid and I'm 100 percent serious about it.
Ben over at MASN has a post about possible right-field solutions that talks mostly about potential trades. It's a good, strong post as we've come to expect from Ben.
There's another solution sitting right out there:
Yes, I said exactly that. Bryce Harper.
Draft him Monday, sign him Tuesday, start him Wednesday. Or maybe even Tuesday when you-know-who debuts. Naw, do it Wednesday and sell that out, too.
YOU ARE NUTS. GET OUT OF HERE. GO BACK TO MOM'S BASEMENT YOU CRAZY OLD FOOL. Yep. I can hear your screams. WHY WHY WHY?
Look, I know he's only 17 or maybe 18 by now. So what? I don't care if he's 12 if he can play. Can he play? We don't know for sure but all signs point that way. Can he be worse than the ever-rotating collection of right fielders the Nats have trotted out there this season? I can't imagine. They could trot out a rotation of us Mom's Basement dwellers and not be much worse.
What's the risk? One of the few good things about sucking so badly for so long is you can take some chances. What are you going to do, suck worse? Give it a couple of months and see. Maybe he CAN handle it. Maybe he can't and it becomes a learning experience, humbles him a bit. He sees what it takes and he goes and gets better. The kid sounds too cocky to let it ruin him if it doesn't work out.
But I suspect it will work out.
The brass needs to call Scott Boras and say this is what we're going to do. We're going to sign your guy immediately. Maybe a little less cheese than if it drags out but the other side is his clock starts right away and his big payday comes a little quicker. Work with us here, Scottie. Storen signed the next day. Why can't Harper?
This team clearly had no answer when it let Elijah Dukes go (he's still available, too). It just wanted rid of the no-curveball hitting former problem child. Two months into the season, it still has no answer.
Maybe this team isn't quite good enough to linger around .500 or above all year. But maybe it is - though not if RF doesn't get settled.
Give it a shot, huh? As crazy as it sounds, maybe it isn't that crazy?
ps - if you do think I'm way too over-the-top crazy here, go back and watch yesterday's ninth inning. Might soften the crazy a bit. There's your ninth-inning right field option.