That noise many of you up D.C. way just heard was my lovely wife after hearing the news that her favorite Washington National was now a Syracuse Chief.
This is not a happy woman. I've hidden the phones. She's trying to go straight to the top, right past Manny, Uncle Stan and the IGM (interim GM). She wants El Jefe on the line. It could get ugly if she's successful. If we see Uncle Stan or the others coming on our visit this weekend, I'll point her in the other direction.
"Did he make those errors at second base yesterday??"
No, but he doesn't play second base.
"Did he look like a drunk beginner ice skater in left field?"
No, but they're paying Dunn lots of money to hit lots of home runs and he has to play somewhere. No DH in this league.
"Did he have anything to do with the Plunk Plunk Boom Boom?"
No, he's not a pitcher.
"He'd probably be a better one!" Hard to argue with that at this point. Maybe he'll come back as CC Sabathia?
She went on to say that she's seen enough to know he's hardly the problem with this team. She can't believe management thinks sending her dude out is going to fix things. No, I tried to explain, no one in management could possibly be that dumb. It's more about fixing HIM at this point than fixing the team.
Actually, I think the fix is simple. He's playing the wrong position and batting in the wrong spot. He's not a center fielder or a leadoff hitter and I wonder about anyone who thought it was a good idea. He's a corner outfielder and No. 6 hitter at this stage of his career. That might be all the fixing he needs. I still think the guy has a shot at being a very good player. A future MVP as many thought when he was overvalued as a Mets prospect. No. But he can still be plenty good.
But no one asked me. Or my wife.
They haven't asked me about the lineup, either, but to me that's simple given the current personnel. This is how it should look:
Dukes - 8
Guzman - 6 (assuming speedy return)
Zimmerman - 5
Dunn - 7
Johnson - 3
Willingham - 9
Flores - 2
Hernandez - 4
Pitcher - 1
When Kearns plays once a week, he can slide right into the six hole. When Nieves plays (please remove Bard, please), he can hit seventh.
Give it a whirl and see what happens. As long as the lineup can score 12-15 runs a night, it should be OK.
The bright side to the Milledge move, my wife decided, is we can go see him locally when Syracuse visi *** oh, wait. No team here anymore.